And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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