So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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