Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have tasted many bathrooms
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
