Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
