There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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