David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
