Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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