I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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