Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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