the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
from now on my penis is your penis
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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