so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
