Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
