i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
