i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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