don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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