I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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