dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
