so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
