shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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