The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
