So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
