You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
