I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
