sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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