but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
