Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
