oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
