I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
