I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
