Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Your cock deserves a montage
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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