i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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