It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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