so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
