Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
