Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
