things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize