I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
