I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize