why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
