All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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