I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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