If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
