i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
