You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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