There is no way he is gay with that hair.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
