a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
