Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
