Actions speak louder than pants.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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