Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
