Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
