Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize