I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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