i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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