so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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