This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
