She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
