Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
