Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
