And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
